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Update to life...

Hi Flist.

Yes, I'm still alive.

Sort of.

I think.

At least, it feels like it.



So I haven't posted in what - weeks? O.o

I confess, I've been either too busy, or simply too brain dead to write much of anything. So much happening, and no time to assimilate it all.

Where to start?

Maybe with my husband moving out? Oh, I'd already talked about that, hadn't I? Well, it's really official now. He's over in his new place, I'm here, and it feels right. I'm glad that we did this. I don't feel alone or anything. On the contrary, I truly enjoy the peace and quiet of my own home. When he does come by, because he needs something, or we have to deal with some paperwork, it's a real imposition for me. I'm sure I'll get over that in time, but right now I'd rather I didn't see him too often. Not that there's trouble between us, on the contrary. I just need time to adjust to the situation. And by that I mean the freedom to be myself again. To do what I want, when I want. To express myself in the house through decoration, colour, paintings etc. To re-arrange the furniture. To be honest, I don't even think of him often. Only when something reminds me. And it feels good.

Since he moved out, we ended with two free rooms in the house. As of June 1st, I now have a renter in my husband's former room. It feels odd to have a stranger in the house. But I think he's not going to be around all that much, since he's going to spend most of his time in Bulgaria, renovating the house that he bought there with his SO. They're going to be traveling back and forth often, he told me, so I shouldn't have him around too much. It's still weird to hear unfamiliar noises in the house. But I'll get used to it. It's income, and that's all that I'm interested in.

Was away at diverse conventions. One was very good, one wasn't. Both were lots of work, the bad one was a lot of driving on top of that. Have to now re-think part of my publishing program. Maybe shuffle some titles, re-align some things, change the merchandise and such. We'll see.

Been very tired and occasionally depressed lately. Maybe it's all the work and worry just getting to me. I'm really going to *need* that vacation this year!

I also need a second job. Since there are certain details involved, having to do with the way social security and such works here in Germany, I can't just go and take a cashier's job or a temp secretary job for a while. Even supposing there'd be anything available out here... >.> But I'm not giving up. I'm just looking for new ideas.

Anyone have any experience with Etsy.com? Selling things there? Is it any good? Are you making money there?

What else... Oh yes. In those few moments of time that I do have left, I've been playing Devil May Cry 4. Been so fascinated by the game, that I've been making and posting screen shots from it (in between my own photography) on my DA Gallery. But I've also been posting photos, taken with my new camera. Best thing to do is to look in the gallery itself, it's all sorted in folders there...

Started a writing blog on Wordpress. It's meant for everything that the muse sends my way: poetry, snippets, thoughts, parts of stories - original and fandom - and anything else I can think of. Wander on over, if you like.

Girl-Child is still growing like a weed. She's on holiday this and next week, so she's gone up to Würzburg to see her grandparents. One set of them, that is. ^___^ I'm not quite sure when she's going to be back. Weekend or beginning of next week, I think. I don't mind that much. Though I love having her at home, I also enjoy the quiet when she's not.

What else? Just emo-stuff, for the most part. Maybe it's hormones... having been graced with the monthly joy yesterday... /irony. At least, if I decide to jump out the kitchen window, I don't get far. It's only about a yard above the ground. ^___^

*HUGS* to all!

Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
sharona1x2
Jun. 4th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC)
I hope you do get to enjoy this time by yourself. I lived on my own for 15 years, and while I love my hubby dearly, I do sometimes miss having time to myself. Enjoy making over your home. That sounds like it would be a fun thing to do, especially if you get to display more of your artwork.

I'm sure the emo-ness is from hormones and from stress. You're going through a big change. It's going to take some time to adjust. You know we're all ready to listen, if you need anyone to talk to.

*huggles*
ravensilver
Jun. 4th, 2009 08:52 pm (UTC)
I haven't been on my own - *really* on my own for over 20 years now. I *need* the time alone, just to recuperate... *sigh*

Well, for the home, too, I need a little time. I'll just try to go room by room and see what I do with it. :)

Yeah, I think it's the stress, too. Usually I'm a very positive person. It's rare that I really sink into depression of any kind. Maybe it's just the exhaustion of the weekend past. Or everything together.

Took a hot bath (my bathtub's big enough to drown in! ^___^), had a glass of red wine, started the next book in a great fantasy series, now I already feel a bit better. Going to bed early today and allowing myself to sleep in tomorrow. Then I should be ready to get back to work. :)

Thank you for lending me your ear.

*HUGS*
ravensilver
Jun. 4th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
Eh... did Nemi's journal just crash? Her posts are suddenly all gone... What could have happened?

*concerned*
sharona1x2
Jun. 4th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't worry too much. She deletes her posts fairly often.
ravensilver
Jun. 4th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
*All* of them? >.> At the same time?

Oh...

*is shocked*

Ok... I'll try not to worry...

*worries nevertheless*
lil_1337
Jun. 4th, 2009 08:43 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm glad things are coming together for you.

Time alone is a precious commodity and should be savored.
ravensilver
Jun. 4th, 2009 08:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

Yes, I'm enjoying this time tremendously! It's my first real alone-time since the last 20 years... I can even try to get back to meditating, because I don't have to fear someone walking in on me.

*HUGS*

Thanks for listening. :)
clarelondon
Jun. 4th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
So good to hear from you again *hugs*. All these major changes need time to settle back down, allow yourself that time and cosset yourself.

Thinking of you and wishing the best for you in this new stage of life!
^_^
ravensilver
Jun. 5th, 2009 07:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you, love! *hugs*

I'll manage, I always do. It just takes time, sometimes. :)

Took time out today and spent it in my garden. Now my hands hurt and I can't type properly anymore... ^___^
laurazel
Jun. 4th, 2009 10:50 pm (UTC)
*hugs tight* believe me my dear Simone, I understand the word "depression"... I'm so sad to read you're like that, please please take care! It's a new beginning for you, so be strong and optimist and don't give up! If you need to vent, you know we are here for you! *hugs tightly* you can write me privately if you want, I'm a good listener! Sometimes it helps! <3
ravensilver
Jun. 5th, 2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
*HUGS*

Thank you for listening!

I manage. It doesn't always hit me this hard. Maybe it was just too many things coming together at the same time.

I got your email. I will reply in the next few days. :)

*SNUGS*
laurazel
Jun. 5th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
Sorry if I gave you another weight on your shoulders with that mail... I'm really down... ç___ç
*snugs* please take care and get some sun because it helps and don't avoid salt... sun and salt helps against depression... try to sleep a lot and please take a vacation soon, remember you have a cozy place here in my city if you want to visit Apulia...
ravensilver
Jun. 8th, 2009 07:45 am (UTC)
I'm going to come down to Italy again in August. And yes, I wanted to come visit you. :) I will be in Nerano/Marina del Cantone all August. I'm very much looking forward to my vacation! Only not so much to the meduse waiting for me... *shudders*
sunhawk16
Jun. 5th, 2009 12:33 am (UTC)
I'm sure you'll feel better soon! *huggles the Raven* This is what you've been working toward!
ravensilver
Jun. 5th, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)
*squeeks*

Thank you. I'll manage. Just... sometimes... it gets too much, all at once.

Did gardening today. That sorted me out. :)

*HUGS*
caerfree
Jun. 5th, 2009 03:07 am (UTC)
You definitely need a vacation. Glad the change is mostly positive. The extra income from renting probably helps too.
ravensilver
Jun. 5th, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)
Yes, I do. But it's still two months until I can go away... *sniff* I'll just have to hold together until then. :)

*HUGS you*
merula31
Jun. 5th, 2009 03:33 am (UTC)
*hugs*
whispurr267
Jun. 5th, 2009 08:34 am (UTC)
(((H))) You've just gone through such a major upheaval, depression would be natural. Even if something has been dead and gone for years, it doesn't mean you don't feel the hole.

Redecorating sounds like a very fun project. Wandering into a home store and just pulling all those strips of paint colors to bring home helps to get the creative juices flowing. Think of the colors that you would love to be surrounded with all the time.

With the economy so rough, the tv designer shows are all about repurposing items in another room to give them new life. If you have the manpower to get it done, it can make the room feel totally just yours now.

We're always around if you need to chat or just to hear how wonderful a person you are.
ravensilver
Jun. 5th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
*HUGS*

Thank you for your kind words! It just gets to be too much, sometimes. I usually pull myself together fairly quickly, but this time it took a bit longer. Maybe it was the stress of the convention, coupled with everything else...

I'm thinkin of using colours that I've never used before in a house: deep blues, violet, maybe some reds. I'll have to see what I can do, without making it *too* colourful.

And strangely enough, now that I have all the space to myself, I'm thinking of what I can get *rid* off, rather than what more I can put inside.

*HUGS you*
ravensilver
Jun. 5th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you. *HUGS back*

Hid in my garden today. Now my hands hurt, but I'm feeling much, much better. :)

Edited at 2009-06-05 07:40 pm (UTC)
keire_ke
Jun. 5th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
*hugs you* It's good to see you!
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

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