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Seven years...

Seven years ago, a guy drove his car down a narrow,winding, hilly country road, in an old Golf, on a clear day, the road dry, no traffic to speak of. He had his 16 year old son and his son's friend on board. He was doing around 85 mph.

Somewhere further down the road, there was my still-husband. On his bike. Riding down the road as he'd done for the last 14 years. He was wearing a red sports shirt. And was about to take a turn into an even smaller road on the right.

The guy in the car, seeing my still-husband driving along in the middle of the road, preparing for his turn, steps on the brakes, then decides, oh, if the biker stays in the middle of the road why then, I'll just pass him on the *right*!

The skid mark was approx. 360 feet long. Thats how long it took him to get his car to a full stop.

In between there, his car met my still-husband.

Walter (my still-husband) was thrown around 135 feet along the road.

He sustained multiple skull fractures, hemorrhaging in the brain - resulting in brain damage, abrasions along his entire body, hair-line fractures in various bones, a fracture of the pelvis and more. He spent a month in an artificial coma. It took him a year in a neurological hospital, physical therapy, a year in a re-integration establishment, and further therapies of all sorts to get to where he is now.

His left side is still severely impaired, especially where fine motor control is concerned. His short term memory isn't always up to par. He's no longer able to handle stress (like the kind that comes with a full-time job). He often becomes verbally agressive when he gets frustrated, because he can't speak fast enough. His voice is extremely monotone. He talks without stopping. And more...

He still has managed, by never giving up, never letting himself fail, to achieve a self-sufficient life. He's working again - only a small part-time job, but it's work. For someone like he, who has always defined himself via his work, that's a real blow.

But he will never be the man that he was before.

For seven years, I've handled it all: insurance, hospitals, police, lawyers, finances, family etc. Sometimes with more, sometimes with less success. Some of my decisions (especially financial ones) have not always been... fortunate. But I kept fighting.

For seven years, we've tried to get the accident driver's insurance to pay up.

They still haven't done so.

I wonder why we even bother having insurance (you have to have a car insurance - it's the law - but they don't necessarily have to *pay*).

And we still don't know whether we will ever win against them.

Sometimes, I get just a touch tired of it all, you know?


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 29th, 2010 08:20 pm (UTC)

I'm terribly sorry to hear about this, raven. I know we haven't known each other for long, but I think that I'm still going to give you a big hug. Sometimes you can never understand people or the ways they think... *hug*
Apr. 29th, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'll take a hug any day. No matter how short we know each other.

Apr. 29th, 2010 09:19 pm (UTC)
I had no idea.

Apr. 29th, 2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
Well, I don't usually talk about it. And I'm always trying to see things in a positive light. I guess it just hit me today. Seven years and no end in sight... *sigh*


I sure could use your Choir right now...
May. 1st, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
Are you sure? If you give him the slightest encouragement, Cloud will bounce over there and try to drag you butterfly-hunting.

Cloud: "YAY! Just let me get Patrick and Silverstream!"

(When he takes them anywhere, he packs a bag of treats and toys for them, just like a mother with a diaper bag. It's quite cute.)

Cloud: "And birds! Let's find baby birds!"
May. 1st, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
*packs a big bag of treats for Patrick, Silverstream, Cloud and me*

Shall we? ^___^
May. 1st, 2010 08:41 pm (UTC)
Cloud: "YAAAAAAAY!" *runs to portal, does not hear Seph telling him to be careful*
Sephy: *sigh, smile*
May. 1st, 2010 09:40 pm (UTC)

I'll get him back safely, don't worry. :)
Apr. 30th, 2010 01:28 am (UTC)
I really just don't understand how the other insurance company has a damn leg to stand on, as far as fighting it. That's just... nuts. O_o
*hugs you tight* Don't give up! That's what they're counting on!
Apr. 30th, 2010 07:53 am (UTC)
They don't, not really. But they're hoping that we're going to give up one day - or end up living out of a cardboard box and happy if we get paid off with $ 100. >.<

I'm not giving up. I'm not giving them that satisfaction. It's just wearing me down sometimes. >.<


Thank you.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 30th, 2010 07:53 am (UTC)
Yeah, me too.


Thank you.
Apr. 30th, 2010 11:55 am (UTC)

I kind of know what you're going through, a little. When I was nine, my mother was hit by a sheriff in a Bronco. She was on a motorcycle.

She only survived because of her donor sticker on her license. They were sure she wouldn't make it, but they wanted to keep the organs fresh. About six weeks later, she woke from her coma unable to walk, talk, or recognize most of the people she knew. It was a long, hard battle, but she's regained a good amount of her memory, she can talk (albeit strangely... the tracheotomy tore her voice box, so she sort of sounds habitually drunk), she can walk and they even let her drive (though they SHOULDN'T).

She bruised the right side of her brain. She will never be the same again. She has a rod through her leg because all of the bones were crushed in her left leg - they almost amputated it. Because of that, one leg is shorter than the other, making it difficult for her to balance and pretty much impossible for her to run.

And though it was the sheriff's fault and she was paid a large amount, it doesn't fix anything. The brain damage has brought all of her worst qualities out, and made them severe. She is unable to work, to be a parent, a good friend, a decent SO... the whole nine yards.

Since I was only nine, I barely remember what she was like the other way. But I do know that it really sucks to have your parent come to you and treat you like you're the parent.

You have my eternal understanding, having dealt with the symptoms you listed first hand on a regular basis. I hope to god whoever is denying your claim is smote with a vindictive fury, and that you will at least get the small satisfaction of winning this war.

The money helps financially... but I know better than most that the sacrifice forcefully made will never fully heal - not with time, or money, or any other thing in this world.

I'm so very sorry. I just hope it helps to know that you are not alone.
Apr. 30th, 2010 10:51 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry. I had no idea... Damn! And I think *I've* got problems... You've had to deal with that almost all your life - I've only had 7 years of it.

You're right, the money *will* help (whenever we get it). But it won't make Walter healthy again. It won't let him do the work that he loves. It won't let him draw like he used to. It won't put him back to what and who he was before.

Thank you for sharing with me. Believe me, it really, really helps!

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )


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